Chronicle 53: Rambling

What to write, what to write... I have this itch to write, to get my thoughts down. I haven't felt it in a long time, so I feel as if I should embrace it. Embracing all that I think and feel and know, and then pushing my way outside of the box to get to the good stuff.

There was this pact I made with myself in high school. I wanted to avoid the housewife life. All the minivans, picket fences, Barney stickers on the windows of said vehicle, keeping up with the Joneses; none of it appealed to me.

Remember these babies?

So why do I find myself reaching toward the safety of the suburbs? Familiarity, I suppose. Don't we, as humans, tend to go back to what we know when under duress?

WARNING: Metaphors, analogies, and humiliations galoooore ahead... (Princess Bride, anyone? Anyone?!)

I feel that with everything else ballooning, going back to my roots is the only thing tying me to the ground. Why do I fight so hard against it? Could I be content with an alternate version, or version(S) all mixed together?

Life is a million different things coming together at once, pure chaos organized by our minds into a straight line. It's easier to swallow, easier to make sense of. But when the corner is peeled back, and I get a peek of what I brushed under the rug, I am quick to run for the broom.

Analogies aside, this is my resolve: embrace it. The dust bunnies, the corners of my mind that become cobwebby because I've been exposed to too much Elmo and consequently begin to speak to adults like I speak to my students... ALL of it. I will change, the situation will change. In the end... well, in the end   there are no guarantees. It's just our duty to be satisfied by our choices in the end.

Oh dear... pop existentialism. Let me wrap this up by saying thank you. For what? I'll let you decide!

xoxo,
The Hot Mama (Wife, Lady & Lova) (Oh, and crossover vehicle driver)