Chronicle 59: Ode to the Shower

You and I were close friends once,

And I took it all for granted.

This ode's to you, dear shower, pal.

My view's now slightly slanted.

I used to step under the water,

Steaming hot, sublime.

My eyes would close, my mind would wander,

Once upon a time.

The gentle pulse would wash me clean,

My worries down the drain.

Alas, I have no time for you,

Just time for mommy brain.

My children, see, have come between us.

They need every second I gather

My hands are full (my heart is, too),

But I'm starting to need a lather.

I'm feeling like a Shel Silverstein poem,

with layers of dirt on my skin,

and hair that houses bats and mice,

and clothes thrice lived in.

I know your layers of soap scum

are feeling quite the same,

please don't leave me, shower -

I know I'm being lame.

For now, I'll have to be content

with dreams of that glistening stall

I'll close my eyes (don't fall asleep!)

and hear the water fall.

I miss you, shower.

xoxo,
The Hot (&Dirty) Mama

Chronicle 58: The #RealLifeChallenge

This week The Hot Mama Chronicles is going to be hosting a challenge. We always see other people's "perfect" lives on Facebook - happy moments portrayed through perfectly timed pics and cheerful statuses. We all know that ain't right. No one's life is that perfect on the inside, and our tendency to compare ourselves to others just blows UP when we scroll through that ol' lyin' Newsfeed.

It's time to show what our REAL lives are like, so here's the challenge: Share pictures of what REALLY happens during your day. Huge piles of laundry, crying/fighting/slobbering children, bad hair days, dinner from McDonald's, anything you can think of. This picture just happens to be a real moment that I captured while trying to take an "Aww look at my adorable daughter, isn't she perfect?!" moment. No such thing as perfection, people! Share the GRIT!

Tag your pictures on Facebook with #reallifechallenge and I will feature your pictures either on my Facebook page or the blog! It's time to be REAL, y'all! And share, share, share the challenge. I'm sure other mamas could use an uplifting laugh! ;)

xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 57: Younique Mascara Tutorial & Review

I've done some written beauty reviews in the past, but I finally was able to figure out how to piece a crude video together on my computer. Bear with me... I may have grown up around technology, but as I'm discovering, that don't mean much, y'all. 

My hairstylist recently threw an online Younique party. This company hasn't been around long, but they are known for their fiber mascara, which gives you fake eyelash lengths. I've been wanting to try the mascara forever, but was satisfied with Too Faced's Better than Sex mascara, and having spent a lot on it, didn't want to switch mid tube. I know some of you can feel the pain. It's like when I start a book and I like it, but there's another book I reaaalllly want to read. Usually I force myself to finish the first book before I move on. Maybe I'm a masochist?

ANYWAY. I ordered the lashes and long story short... LOVE 'EM. Love everything about them. Granted I've only had them for about a week, but I had one application that stayed on for THREE days. I even took a shower. Yes, I did. When I was ready to take the mascara off, it was super easy. I was pleasantly surprised, because I had expected it to rip my eyelashes out like Benefit's They're Real mascara. Not so. I just soaked a cotton pad in eye makeup remover (I swear by Mary Kay's) and soaked my lashes for a few seconds before gently wiping away the fibers. 

I have long eyelashes to begin with but they are super pale, so I always try to have something on. I was really impressed by the immediate difference in length.  It does not feel heavy either. As in, I don't feel like Lucille Ball in Yours, Mine, and Ours (Yours, Mine, and Ours: Irish Coffee Forward to 2:16 for a good laugh). Here's one eye without Younique and one with two coats. 

See the video below for a more in depth review and application tutorial. Let me know what mascara you use and love in the comments below! DISCLAIMER: This review is not sponsored by Younique; I just really love it! Enjoy :) 

xoxo, 

The Hot Mama