Chronicle 38: Say What?! Wednesday: Traveling with Baby

A friend of mine is flying across the pond with her adorable 8 month old in a few weeks. For those of you who are interested, that is a 10 hour plane ride with a recently mobile little guy. An independent, mobile little guy. She wondered if I had any suggestions for traveling with a little one and, after wracking my poor, tired mommy brain, I gave her a few suggestions that helped me when my husband and I flew cross country with G.

Baby G, at 3.5 months, and mama!

Planning the Flight:

1. First thing's first, it is MUCH cheaper to hold your child on your lap, no matter the length of the trip. Many airlines DO have discounted seats for children under 2, but you will still pay close to full price. If your child is not mobile, you are allowed to carry them in a Baby Bjorn or something similar.

If you choose to buy a seat, then you must have a TSA approved car seat for your kiddo. Usually the car seat will say if it is approved on the side, or you can check the manual it came with, or even call the manufacturer. If your child is mobile, they may not want to sit in the car seat the entire time, so be prepared to end up holding them anyway!

Traveling with a car seat

2. Try to schedule an early/late flight. Most children do better in the morning or late at night, and will actually sleep after take off. The cabin pressure and motion of the plane combined with snuggling equals nap time! We left early and came back late, and G slept for most of both flights!

3. In that same vein, do your best to leave on a day when the airport is not as busy. This will make it easier to navigate the airport and security. If you are switching flights, pick a layover that is over an hour, preferably two. This way you can gather everything, de-board, pick up the stroller & car seat, etc. without rushing, panicking and running through an unfamiliar airport.

4. It is painful for little ears when the plane takes off and lands, which causes VERY unhappy babies. The best way to combat this is feeding your baby during this time. If you are nursing, make sure you pack a blanket or nursing cover to take on the plane. You are allowed a certain amount of pre-made formula, so check with your airport's TSA policies to see how much you can carry-on, and how much you can pack if your destination does not have the formula you normally buy.

5. You can check the car seat with its base AND your stroller for FREE at the gate. They will have it waiting for you when you disembark.

Where to check your stroller

6. Airlines will ask you to bring your baby's birth certificate to verify age and identity. They do not accept copies. Even if you have obtained your child a passport, take the birth certificate as backup.

Packing for the Plane/Trip:

1. If you are visiting with relatives, ask if they have access to a Pack n Play or portable crib. Many hotels also offer these for free or an additional fee, so call and check with your hotel. If you are unable to procure one at your destination, see if you can fit your Pack n Play into a golf bag and take it with you. 

2. Pack enough diapers & formula to get you to your destination, then buy the rest when you arrive. This will increase your packing space dramatically. 

3. You will need at least 2-3 outfits per day for baby. If you have access to a washer & dryer, pack less and make life easier for yourself! Also, take bibs that can be wiped down and don't have to be washed. You don't want to have to worry about rotting food particles stinking up your suitcase!

Easy Wipe Bibs

4. An inflatable tub is cheap and easy to fold up and bring along. If your destination is warm, it can double as a baby pool! I found mine at Buy Buy Baby, but you can also buy them from Amazon, Target, Babies R Us, etc.

5. Bring a backpack rather than a diaper bag. That way you can pack your entertainment/snacks along with the baby's and it is easier to carry.

Vacation:

1. Stick to your normal routine as much as possible! Nap times and mealtimes should not be delayed and /or missed. It will be difficult because you will want to do so much, but it will be to your benefit to avoid meltdowns when traveling AND deviation from your child's routine once you return home. Little ones cannot handle it as well as we. 

2. Traveling on airplanes can cause constipation in babies, so be prepared. Give a bit of water and juice throughout the trip to help them regulate (always talk with your pediatrician first).

Juice!

3. Take a small first aid kit with you. I always pack baby Tylenol & baby Ibuprofen along with our Dr.'s dosage recommendations. I also pack nail clippers, a rectal thermometer, cotton balls, and Neosporin. You never know when you'll need them! 

4. Don't panic if you forgot to pack something! Many times you can find what you need at the airport, a gas station, or Target/Wal-mart/Meijer once you arrive. 

Most importantly: have fun! Traveling with a baby can be stressful, but roll with the punches and everyone will enjoy themselves. Please comment or e-mail with any additional questions, mamas!

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 42: BB Cream Review!

I think it's been quite some time since my Sephora haul and girls, do I have some REVIEWS to write. The one thing I was the most excited about was the BB Cream by Clinique. It promised me the world: sunblock, primer, moisturizer AND moderate coverage all in one.

I was convinced it would become a staple in my makeup bag.

Here's the problem: I have fairly sensitive skin and all of those products combined just wreaked havoc with it. It looks absolutely beautiful and flawless whether it's applied with fingers, brush or sponge. It even passed the natural light test with flying colors (aka it looked fresh and natural in broad daylight). However, it made me break out after 8 hours of wear. And I don't break out. Like... ever. 

My chin became a minefield. After only 8 hours! This is why I sadly decided to return to Sephora. Some day. See the thing is, I love it so much that I'm willing to wear it for short periods of time and then wash it off immediately. Crazy? Absolutely. The things we do for love, ladies, I swear.

Photo courtesy of ehowtogetridofpimples.net

I have been experimenting with my morning skin care routine in order to make this relationship work. I feel as if under certain circumstances, BB and I could be friends. We may never reach our full potential, but it's not fair to just cut BB out of my life forever...

Here's what I've tried: washing my face with cleanser & Clarisonic Mia, toning with Clarins Toning Lotion, using my Caudelie Vinoperfect Day Perfecting Fluid THEN BB cream. I thought the layer of Vinoperfect would protect my skin from the BB. Not so much. That is just adding one. more. thing.

So I tried it without and still, no dice. I had been using moisturizer, too even though the BB has it. I started skipping that step, too and the results were the same. Pimply chin!!

 I finally decided to put the BB everywhere but my chin and used a cover up for any redness. Voila! The perfect solution. AND I get to keep my BB. 

Xoxo, 

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 40: Say What?! Wednesday: Communicating with your Spouse

Well, here we are, more than halfway through the Say What?! Series and I am a little sad. Not like "Leave Britney ALONE!" sad... more along the lines of "There are two more Oreos left in the package and I'm about to finish them off" sad. Wistful-like. Because there is only one more post left in the series, I've been brainstorming and narrowing down topics. I want to hit the most important issues, what I think might be most helpful to YOU.

Oh, Mr. Gable!

Something that comes up time and again in any relationship with a significant other is communication (mostly lack thereof, if we're honest with ourselves). Never is this skill more important than when you're trying to nurture a little ankle biter of your own. 

Is is notoriously difficult for men and women to truly hear and understand what the other is saying. Women are talkers and sharers by nature and men are visual creatures who just want us to get to the point so they can offer a brilliant solution. 

http://www.zazzle.com/mr_fix_it_tshirt-235124752233411226 

I can't even begin to count the number of times I sat down and talked to my husband about my horrible day and spilled my guts only to encounter a glazed look or the "I'm pretending not to read what's on my computer, but I'm really rocking the hell out of my peripherals" stare. One of those moments where I truly considered extreme couch bouncing a la Tom Cruise craziness... 

There are books. And articles. And Doctors and therapists and couples counseling and churches, and and and. What it really comes down to is your willingness to LISTEN. By stepping back, turning off defensiveness and keeping an open ear. This is a constantly evolving skill... trust.

Here's what I know/try to keep in mind:

1. Talking scares a lot of men. They're afraid you want them to get emotional and share their feelings... and stuff. Plus, they are petrified you will yell or cry. This triggers a shut down in most men. (Trying desperately not to generalize, here!)

Instead: "Hey, hotness (bunny, lovebug, big strong man, etc.), I wanted to get your opinion on something. Can we set aside 10-15 minutes later? I'll bring the wine! 

Clink!

Why? 

-A limited amount of time is concrete. It means that there is a way out. It means that you go into teamwork mode and find a solution without a prolonged, emotional conversation. 

-Also, talking about ONE issue at a time may be frustrating, but it is a scientific fact that men cannot multitask. It's brain science. 

-Don't cause confusion by bringing up five different things at once, as tempting as it may be. If it helps, write down everything beforehand, just to simply get it out so it doesn't make an appearance during your "non-chat."

-Don't get drunk, or even tipsy. The wine is to help you loosen up, not lash out! 

2. Start SMALL. 

Why?

-Don't try to tackle a heavy, complex issue on your first try. Gradually increase the time limit as you and your spouse become more comfortable discussing more emotional issues.

-Starter topics: Projects around the house, weekend plans, a trip, your next big purchase, planning a date.

-Eventually you will dive into the sensitive topics: money, sex, family, raising your children, your feelings about _____ event/situation, etc. 

3. Be ready to swallow some pride. You may have an idea of how you want the conversation to go, but the goal is to really listen to your spouse. Remember that you cannot control their thoughts, words, or actions. Give them time to think and talk, without interruptions. Check out their body language.

Body language

Why?

-Interrupting or giving an emotional monologue says "I don't care what you think. What I have to say is much more important" (whether that is true or not). Your love should shine through, not your impatience. 

-Support is key. Creating a safe environment will encourage your spouse to talk and share. 

-You may hear something that you don't like or conflicts with your wants. Take a minute to mull it over  before you respond. A lot of times our initial reactions may be overreactions, which hinder any progress you've made!

4. When all else fails, agree to disagree, and re-visit later. 

Why?

-When either one, or both, of you gets too worked up, the conversation is over and stops being productive. Being upset does not lend to rational thinking.

-Take a day (or several) to cool down. Jot down thoughts as they come to you and bring them to your next conversation if it will help keep you focused. 

-Do not say something you will later regret. This will make it really difficult to revisit the conversation with a wary spouse.  

5. Last, but not least: Timing is everything.

Why?

-Read your partner's cues. Did they have a rough day at work, or at home with the kids? Not the best time to approach them with a sensitive issue. Glass of wine, maybe, but super chat? No.

-A person who is on-edge will not be prepared to listen objectively.

-Your convo should take place in a quiet, distraction free setting. Chaos begets chaos!

Take it to the houuuuse!

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 34: Say What?! Wednesday: Breastfeeding

For my first edition of Say What?! Wednesday, I want to put forth my version of a DISCLAIMER. This is not a warning label, or Interwebz caution tape. It is merely a "before you read/keep in mind while you read" type...thing. So. Disclaimer: I do not endorse/prefer/judge those who do or do not use said method. I am writing solely from my own personal experience. So please, no snide comments or debates necessary, mamas. Thank you for reading the disclaimer. Please, read on!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/welfarestateofmind/4459735887/

When I found out I was pregnant (or, as I fondly referred to it, "knocked up"), I did a lot of research. I spent countless hours hunched over my ancient Apple laptop and poring through a worn copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting, charting every second of my pregnancy and what to do once the baby was actually born.

It wasn't until I was weeks away from delivering that I received a shock. Nursing, as it turns out, is NOT an easy thing to do. In fact, once I stumbled onto this tidbit, it became a train wreck topic (you know, can't look away...). First time moms were terrified, experienced ones assured us that it was hard, but it could be done. With lots of help. The La Leche League website became one of my most visited sites, until I finally added it to my bookmark bar.

http://www.lllofaz.org/yuma.htm

Why was I so utterly shocked? Udderly? Ha. Because! I literally thought that you just popped the baby on. And they drank. And then they were full and you patted their little backs until they let out an adorable "urp!" Maybe you got to breathe in their little milky breaths while you were at it. And my nipples? What about 'um? I did not give them a second thought. Even though I became terrified that I would fail at such a "natural process of mothering", I was so glad that I was prepared. Glad that I took the time to really find out what it was all about. That is why I want to help prepare YOU, so that when faced with this decision, no matter what it is, I can somehow make it easier for you.

There is a lot of information in this post, so bookmark and "read as you need" or take it in a few times so you are not overwhelmed.

After Delivery:
1. The hospital where I delivered G made it a priority for mothers to nurse their newborns as soon as possible after birth. Not only does this start the bonding process, but it gives you a snapshot of what nursing will be about for the first few months.

2. My son had a hard time latching, so my room nurse had the lactation consultant visit our room. She helped by correctly positioning my son in my arms & also provided a nipple shield. This helps the baby latch on and stay on. It also protects the nipple a bit more.

3. It hurts. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, because if you're prepared for a bit of pain, then it is easier to deal with. You may experience chapped, raw, bleeding or cracked nipples. It's not pretty, but it is for a relatively short period of time. Then they toughen up and you can't feel a thing. It's a bit odd.

4. I made sure to make another appt with the lactation consultant before we left hospital. There is so much to deal with at the hospital, and all the information comes fast and furious. It is ALWAYS a good idea to get the information again. Make sure to leave with a pamphlet that details local nursing groups and hotline numbers for urgent questions.

http://www.ivillage.ca/pregnancy/breastfeeding-immediately-after-your-babys-birth

At home:
1. I drank ALOT of water from the huge bottle given to me at hospital. I relaxed on the couch and my man refilled it (what a sweetie!). This jug holds up to 30 ounces, which I downed every few hours. It helps with milk production, and keeps you from becoming dehydrated.

2. I became constantly hungry, which was not a problem as nursing can burn an 500 extra calories a day. I just tried to snack on healthier options like crackers & cheese, fruit, veggies & dip, etc. Some days I had chips and candy. Balance is key.

3. There are several different ways to hold your baby as you nurse. I liked and stuck with the traditional cradle hold, which is probably what you think of first. It was easiest for me to prop little man on the Boppy pillow (a U-Shaped pillow that fits around your waist and supports your arm while nursing). Different holds include the cradle, crossover, reclining, and football, to name a few. This article outlines them all, and provides helpful tips.

4. When your milk comes in, you may become engorged which is extremely uncomfortable. Your breast tissue will swell and become inflamed and your supply will not be regulated. The baby can't drink enough at one time to relieve you, so you may need to pump. Word of caution: only pump until your breasts are soft again. Any more and you will encourage the production of even more milk! Don't let the milk go to waste, bag and freeze it for when you introduce the bottle.

5. Burping, spit up, and gassiness...oh, my! For the first three months feeding, sleeping, and pooping are going to be top priority in your life. Anything that disturbs those will be the bane of your existence. Enter burping that elicits spit up, and a hold that allows air to get into your baby's tummy which brings on gassiness. There are a few things you can do to help your baby get through these disruptions, but they are inevitable. There are Mylicon drops, which basically binds gas bubbles, making them easier to exit the body (either way). These can be found at drugstores and are harmless enough that you can give them multiple times a day. I always gave a bit before and a bit after feeding. This seemed to help the most.

http://www.newbornbabyzone.com/baby-care/how-to-burp-your-baby/

5. NIPPLES. Again, with the nipples! Lanolin is your new best friend. Use it after you nurse. Yep, every time. If you can find them, get petal gel pads. They are cool and soothe aches and pains. Also, putting a few drops of breast milk on them and letting them air dry after nursing works wonders. Get used to always having your boobs out. Once you're on a schedule, it gets better. I promise!

6. You will leak. Invest in some washable nursing pads to wear in your bra when you go out in public. There is nothing more embarrassing than leaking through your shirt. I would also recommend having a change of clothes with you at all times. Between leaking and baby spit up/poop/etc, you never know when you might need an extra shirt!

Schedule/After 3-4 months:
1. When you're out and about, be sure to wear an accessible shirt or dress. There's nothing worse than realizing you have to get completely undressed to nurse. I purchased a few nursing bras, but after awhile I realized wireless bras can just be pulled up, AND they cost LESS!

2. Breast feeding in public is tricky. I do not like to do it, although I did get a nursing shawl. I tried it once and it was just too much for me. People were staring, I was trying not to show the goods, and my son just wriggled around and pulled everything out of place. I usually try to find a restroom with a chair or countertop to sit on. Some places actually have nursing rooms, which is a huge bonus!

3. Take a lunch box with ice pack for a bottle of pre-mixed formula or breast milk during longer car rides or outings. If there is not a place to nurse or you are unable, it helps to have a pre-made bottle.

4. I DO supplement with formula for the above reason. Also, if someone is watching my son and they run out of frozen breast milk, it is nice if your child can accept formula from a bottle as well. That has worked well for our family.

http://www.greenkiddie.co.uk/Bottlefeeding.php

When older:
1. Teething prompts the return of sore/bleeding nipples. Reacquaint yourself with Lanolin cream, gel pads, bottles, and soft bras. Nurse from the "healthier" nipple until the other has healed a bit.

2. When your little one starts solids you will be nursing less. Your supply may decrease or even dwindle, or your kiddo may not be interested in nursing anymore. This decrease in supply may herald the return of your period, so be prepared! I wasn't and my husband had to make a midnight run while on vacation.

3. If you missed those lovely little adult beverages, now is the time to fit them back in your life. Make sure you pump or have formula available. One drink is metabolized in one hour, which means it is not stored in your breast milk. Better safe than sorry, mamas. Go with your gut on this one. And be prepared to be tipsy after less than one drink!

http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/teething-and-biting

After much research and consideration, I decided that nursing was best for me and my family, but that does not mean it was at all easy. It was a huge sacrifice, one that I decided to make because of the positive effects for my baby and myself. Would I do it again? Absolutely!


Xoxo,
The Hot Mama

Chronicle 30: Say What?! Wednesdays

Ladies & gents, I have an announcement! I'm psyched to share with you the beginning of a new series on The Hot Mama Chronicles called Say What?! Wednesdays. Due to an enormous response (comments, e-mails, etc.) to my last post on New Mama Insider Info, I have developed a series of topics to discuss in-depth for new mamas, mamas to be AND future mamas to be. Something for everyone!

I will cover all the important stuff, like post-baby body, breast-feeding, your relationship with your partner, getting back into the swing of things, and much, much more! Look for the first installment next Wednesday, May 16th! I am so excited to hear feedback from you all!

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 27: Bananas for Homemade Baby Food

When I first started Baby G on solids, I sat down and wrote a lengthy post about how and what I did and why. This is not that post. Wanna know why? The Internet gods looked down on me and said, "Not today, young lassie", and deleted everything I had written. I haven't had the time or energy to sit down and write another one. Until now. This post is brought to you by Cinco de Mayo, and the letter Corona-rita. 

I am a big fan of the Baby Bullet, which was one of the most useful baby gifts I received. We've already established that I am no cook, and this makes it super easy to make large quantities of baby food cheaply (I am also a fan of saving money). Another thing I love is that I completely control what goes into it. Organic banana baby food from our local fruit stand? Check. Sounds so complicated but it's incredibly easy. Here's how I did it:

These are most of the "tools" I used to whip up some pureed bananas for my little man. I say most because I realized that I needed to add some water late in the game and had to grab a measuring cup. So add that to your list now, mamas! Pictured left to right: Small storage jar, large blending cup with baby blend blade and lid, two 'nanas, bowl from Ikea, spoon, and the Baby Bullet base.

Here is the recipe as shown in the cookbook that came with the Baby Bullet. It shows you exactly what you need and how to do it. I used two smallish bananas and kept the 1/4 cup of water the same. Baby G has started eating those little puffs that resemble Cheerios, but dissolve instantly so as to avoid choking. This means that his solids don't have to be so liquid.

After peeling the ba-nah-nars, I broke them in half and dumped them in the blending cup, which was atop the UNPLUGGED base. Trust me, this needs to be unplugged until you are totally ready to puree away. When I say TRUST ME, I mean it. 

When blending the bananas I use the pulse method, which means that I twist and release the cup and the blade starts and stops. This works best for starchy foods. At this point, the blade refused to work until I added water. As you can see, I still had rather larger pieces of banana just hanging out.

Because I went to so much trouble finding organic bananas, I decided I should probably use our filtered water, rather than tap. So, here we are. Measuring cup, water, and nearly finished baby food. 

A little bit of water goes a long way! The finished product resembles banana pudding and has the consistency of marshmallow fluff. If your babe is just starting out with solids, double the amount of water I used for a version that is easier to swallow! 

I just adore these cute little storage cups! After spooning a serving and a half into the bowl seen below, I was able to get three of these little guys. I store them in the refrigerator for 2-3 days and if I have more, I pop the rest in the freezer. You can freeze any extras in an ice cube tray, and then transfer the cubes to a dated Ziploc to save room! These will keep for a month or so, and up to six months in a deep freeze. You will notice that the food turns brown (which completely freaked me out!), but it is still good. Toss it after 3 days, though! 

Ready for consumption! This literally took 5 minutes to make. Little man was keeping himself busy by chasing sweet potato puffs around his high chair tray.

Ready for the first bite! 

Success! We love bananas at our house! Just a reminder: make sure you throw away any uneaten food from the bowl. It grows bacteria super fast, so toss it and wash the bowl and spoon straight away!

What are your kiddo's favorite foods? Any funny baby food/baby food making stories?

Xoxo, 

The Hot Mama

Disclaimer: This post was not sponsored by Baby Bullet. I just really dig it! Thank you to my brother and sister in law for allowing us to make G some delicious food! 

Chronicle 26: Say What?! New Mama Insider Info

Here is what I know: Being a parent is like living on Mars. Minus all the heat and weird gases. Ok, plus the weird gases and minus the heat. It literally feels as if you're living on a different planet than everyone else. Well, other than people who are in your exact same position.

Here are some things I absolutely did not know about and have not heard anyone talk openly about (until I asked):

Nursing

It's so much more difficult than you imagine. I literally thought you were supposed to pop the baby on the boob and let him drink away. Not so. There are different types of holds and the baby has to latch on correctly and you have to come to a mutal agreement with your child about when and where to breastfeed. And they BARELY eat the first few days. Which is why they actually lose a bit of weight that first week, but trust me, it is fine. Scary, but fine.

Honestly, it hurts like hell. It's like purple nurples every time they eat for a few weeks. Then the nips toughen up and nursing becomes a habit (if you decide to pursue it). When your milk comes in, you may or not feel as if you magically received breast implants. I was so swollen, that I had to make a 10 o'clock run to Babies R Us to buy a pump, then proceeded to pump all the way home.

Also, your baby will scratch your chest up with their tiny little claws and you will look like your breasts got into a bar fight with a rosebush. I was too scared to cut G's nails forever, so I wore high necked tops for months. Now that he is teething, I have bite marks and bruises. Fun.

Friendships...

come and go, but never more so than during major life changes like getting married or having babies. There are people who just can't handle the fact that you aren't going out/drinking like you used to, or they're jealous of your happiness, or they are just plain in a different phase of their lives.

Your schedule changes dramatically for awhile, and kids can be so unpredictable that you need understanding family and friends if you have to cancel or rearrange plans. I'm lucky to have people like this in my life!

The good news is that, as a new parent, you can meet so many new friends that know exactly what you're going through. Great meeting places include: the park, the gym, the library (story hour!), the grocery, through friends and family, church, birthday parties, etc. The hardest part is getting up the courage to strike up a conversation and then follow through by making plans. It's a lot like dating: you really have to see if everyone is compatible! I am still in the "working up the courage" phase, but I'm lucky to have several mommy friends already.

SEX

Oh, yes I did. Surprisingly, you recover from (natural) delivery fairly quickly. That doesn't mean that you wanna jump right back in the sack as soon as you feel pain free. Because, yes, it hurts the first time you have sex. It reminds me of Jessica from HBO's True Blood who was turned into a vampire as a virgin. Which means that every time she gets down is literally like the first time. And it feels like that for awhile.

My advice? Lots of lube. And patience. And HUMOR. It goes a long way. Just remember there are a lot of other things you can do with your hubby, including non-sexual activities that are still intimate like showering together, massages, cuddling, breakfast in bed, etc. Like many other things after having a baby, this is temporary and while it may be more difficult to find time with your man, it can (and must!) be done. You just have to become a bit more creative!

Competition

I am not a competitive person by nature, but when I'm out and about I cannot help comparing myself to other parents and my little man to other babies. What is that baby doing that my son isn't? What do I do way better than that parent? I would never do that. My son will never act like that in public... It goes on and on. Why do we do this? Human nature, I suppose. But I really try to keep it to a minimum because every single child goes at their own pace. And nothing is wrong with that by any means. Who am I to judge and compare? My son and I are happy and healthy and that is all I can ask for. (It still creeps in sometimes. Hey, I can't help it!)

Your turn, mamas! What are some things that shocked you as a new mama? What would advice would you give to a new parent that you would have liked to receive? 

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 21: Truths & Discoveries

Do you ever have a sudden moment of clarity? As in, you've heard the same cliches over and over again, but it just doesn't ring true until it is relevant in your own life? Parenting is JUST like that. I feel as if I have a revelation every single day. Sometimes it is just an affirmation of a revelation I had the day before. Anyhow, I have compiled an even numbered list of these new truths and discoveries. Six, in fact. See? Even number. That's my OCD shining through. So lovely.

Six Truths & Discoveries of Parenthood:

1. Fear vs. Faith
My last post contended with a pretty heavy realization: I can either live each day in complete, paralyzing fear that something may happen to any of my loved ones, or I can have faith that every thing will work out the way it's supposed to. It sounds simple enough, but when I look at my son and try to grasp how much I love him, I pretty much fall to paranoid pieces. I've realized that it is time to let go of what I cannot control. Spending every waking moment worried that I'm going to get a horrible phone call will not stop it. I would rather spend that time enjoying my family and working on my happiness, instead! To read a more in-depth analysis, check out Chronicle 20: Fear vs. Faith.

2. You will cry...ALOT
I was a fairly sensitive person before I had my son. I might have cried at the end of E.T., or listening to my brother play a beautiful piece on his violin. Now I am an emotional mess. I have now cried at the following: a Geico commercial, a particularly moving episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, the thought of grocery shopping, finding an actual bra that fits (not a sports bra), Word with Friends, and every single stage of my son's development. I teared up just now writing about crying. I try to avoid certain movies, TV shows, and books because I know they will trigger a cry fest. I see every thing from a mother's perspective, and perhaps the hormones are still raging. It's just become a fact of life.

3. Everything has changed. Especially you.
Your friends are still going out and you're staying in with a teething baby. You may lose some of these friends. You WILL gain others. You would rather sleep next to your spouse than with them. You stop doing your own laundry and concentrate on the baby's. Your parents and in-laws call and visit much more often. MUCH more. People come to visit the baby, not you. You find yourself excited that the baby finally pooped, that your nipples are not as sore, that you can finally wear something other than pajamas and sweatpants. You settle for a good ponytail, rather than those "messy" beach waves. You are different. You are stronger. You are experiencing love that will never fade.

4. Being a parent is like being in a club.
No, not as in The Viper Room. Like, the "You understand the bags under my eyes and the throw up on my t-shirt" club. You talk to random mamas at the park, in the grocery store. You have a new appreciation for the frazzled-looking mom shuffling her kids into a McDonald's because she's too tired to cook. You congratulate a new mom for merely getting out of the house (did that today at Victoria's Secret. Although I wonder what she was doing THERE. I'm just now wanting to step foot in that place...SEVEN months later.) You nod in agreement when another mama describes exactly how you've been feeling or going through with your babe. You can talk about bottle brands for hours and whether you like Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby better (I prefer the latter). Stuff that may seem mundane to anyone else is fodder for mamas. Welcome to the club!

5. The little things become more important than the big things (for now).
Say whaaat? Let me put it this way. Big thing: lunch and shopping with friends. Little thing: Baby's nap. What wins? NAP ALL THE WAY, FOLKS. Because a cranky baby is a cranky mom is a cranky dad. We are even cutting Easter short this year because all of the activities fall around Baby G's nap time. The good news is that this is a sacrifice that will only last a few years. At this point, I need these naps as much as he does!

6. Your child IS amazing. 

I am the mama who is obsessed with her baby. Every single thing he does seems like a tiny miracle. He moves a toy from here to there? INCREDIBLE. He blinks? BRAVO! I used to be annoyed by parents that bragged about their child's seemingly mundane accomplishments, but now I GET IT. However, I'm not about to slap an Honor Student bumper sticker on my SUV. I'm content capturing these moments on video and film to share with people who show interest. Or, I will watch them myself!

What discoveries have you made since becoming a parent? What are some cliches that are now tried and true in your life? Looking forward to hearing from you!

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 20: Fear vs. Faith

After putting Peanut down for the night, I usually unwind with a book, or listen to some records while sipping a glass of wine, or peruse the "heavy" sections of the paper while my husband stares at me adoringly from across the living room...

PSYCHE! I WATCH TV. There, I said it. I unwind by watching a trainwreck of a reality show, or catching up on backlogged episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210 (that I DVR every day). So, a few nights ago, I was all caught up on my stories, and looking for something uplifting. 

Enter E! and the True Hollywood Story of Giuliana Rancic. I've always thought Giuliana was adorable; she is super cheeky and chic...y. She makes crazy celebrity gossip seem like something important and exciting. And she is always honest and open about her personal life and struggles. I was so saddened when I heard about her being diagnosed with breast cancer. So saddened, in fact, that I started to cry.

Now, I don't know about all you mamas, or soon to be mamas, out there, but I cry ALOT now. Like every day. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than twice. So there I was, on the couch, remote in one hand, half-eaten Cadbury Creme Egg in the other, bawling my eyes out. But... quietly, so as not to wake the bebe.

Then, for no reason at all I got scared. Scared that baby G wasn't breathing (checked video monitor...he was fine). Scared that my husband's taxi got in an accident on the way back to his hotel (paranoid call...he was safe and sound, ordering chocolate cake from room service. Wait... I WANT chocolate cake!!) Scared that my eating habits will make me have a heart attack. Darn...no chocolate cake for me. But most of all, just plain scared that something would happen to any of my loved ones. 

Right as I was about to start hyperventilating (silently of course), I heard Giuliana's husband say something profound. He was talking about Giuliana's attitude about breast cancer and he said that we have a choice. We can either live by fear or we can live by faith. HOLD. THE. PHONE. How many times have I heard something similar? "Worrying is like a rocker, you never get anywhere" or "Let go, and let God." But combined? And so simplified? And so REAL? Never.

I don't claim to be religious. I've struggled with organized religion and the messages they put out in the world. Do not misunderstand me; I am so grateful that we have the freedom and are able to find comfort and something to believe in. But I look at my son, and how my body put him together and I feel as if there has to be something out there, orchestrating and planning and watching us grow. My life has come to a point where I'm ready to accept that there's more to life than just me and what I want. It's 100% scary giving up that bit of control. But Bill Rancic was absolutely right...it IS fear vs. faith. It's a choice, one you have to make every day. Quite the commitment.

I feel a bit better when I realize that faith doesn't even have to pertain to religion. It just means I acknowledge that most things are out of my control, and I can either be a paranoid freak, or let go of the paralyzing fear. So I am. And I will. One day at a time. 

Readers, what fears do you have? What have you let go of? How does Faith vs. Fear inspire YOU?

Much love to you all.

Xoxo, 

The Hot Mama