Chronicle 55: Number Two

Ahhh, number two. Could be that you planned it. Could be that the little devil snuck up on you until one day... PLOP! Just couldn't hold it in any more. Little, big... doesn't matter. This puppy will change your life forever.

Oh, shit! You thought I was talking about *whispers* number TWO? I meant the second CHILD! Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, people!

I never formally announced that we had another baby, but considering my readers are mostly friends and family, I thought, you know, that you already knew...

But for those people who just happened across my corner of cyber space (probably Googling baby fashion or sore nipples), I HAD A ANOTHER BABY!! YEAH! The snark is strong with me today, son.

How number two has thrown us for a poop. I mean, a loop.

1. Our oldest child has become a servant, parent in training, very special helper!  This is a conversation my, um, friend had with her son recently while she was trying to nurse a wiggling 10 month old with FANGS adorable brand new teeth (who had just decided to blow out of the ruffly $50 outfit from Grandma):

"Hey honey, can you run upstairs and get Mommy a diaper? Yeah, upstairs. IN THE DRAWER! IN THE BIG WHITE DRAWER! No, in your sister's room. YOUR SISTER'S!" When he brought down his favorite pair of underpants instead, I...um SHE just smiled while crying inside.

2. Where in the sweet potato is... ?!?!?! Everything is suddenly missing. Stuff that you wouldn't dream was possible to lose. The baby's entire collection of 20 bottles, your son's favorite toy screw driver, the fake spiral topiary that used to be on the mantle, step stools, potty chairs, and entire couch cushions. Where in the KALE CHIPS do these things GO!??!?!? Either that, or they turn up covered in sticky unremovable substances. Martha Stewart, are you for sale?

3. LAUNDRY. We are at the point where we all wear one outfit a day. SO WHY IS IT that we are doing two loads of laundry EVERY NIGHT? GRRRRFLALAKJDBkhgsvcjaghfd I can't even.

4. My ride. I drove a crossover with one child and now, due to a lack of room situation, we upgraded to a full on SUV. I love it, but the closer I get to owning a mini-van, the closer I feel to losing my sanity. This birth control better not fail, because I will not be purchasing a big ol' van any time soon EVER!!!

5. Sorry, not sorry, but I am never 100% squeaky clean. Because KIDS.
"Just took a shower, Ma? Here, let me barf on your leg."

"Oh, Dad, so glad to hear you got this shirt back from the dry cleaner's. Let me wipe a snail trail of snot on the shoulder."

"Just spent 45 minutes on your hair and makeup, Mommy? I've got some super sticky yogurt that will add a nice pop of color. Let me make sure it gets on every single layer so you have to wash it again."

I can't fail to mention all the dried cheerios, puffs, goldfish and other cracker type crap that manages to glue itself to my BUTT!

And  that, my friends, is just a sample of how number two has flushed my former life away. Yeah, yeah enough with the lame jokes. But seriously, I've gotta go.

xoxo,
Hot Mama

Chronicle 18: Party Planning!

So, as you may know, my darling bubba-loo turned 6 months old at the beginning of March. You would never know it because the chunky monkey has graduated to the 9-12 month size in clothing, has been sitting on his own since 4 months, and, in the next few weeks, will have a grand total of 8 (COUNT UM, EIGHT) teeth! I have to brag a little, mamas. Because here's the thing... I am completely in love with my son. Which means I'm totally crazy over EVERY thing he does. It is so nutty and insane, but SO TRUE. That means I have to brag a little. But, I am finished. For now.

I was so tempted to throw all tackiness to the wind, and plan a small celebration for Baby G's half birthday. You see, Pinterest has the ability to make me believe I can and should do all sorts of things. It makes me believe I can turn a man's flannel shirt into a club dress, or make a whole new patio set out of old pallets, or even use a crockpot every single day of the year. It's an affirmation of what our parents have been telling us all these years, "You can do ANYTHING!" 

Parental encouragement aside, I forced myself to wait another six months and instead started gathering ideas for what will hopefully be a very well thought-out 1st birthday party. I thought about planning it the old fashioned way...Oh, you forget what that entails? It involves running around to several different stores in the hopes of finding something that would catch my eye or fit the theme I am desperately obsessed with (circus, or "vintage circus" if you wanna get fancy). I did, however, run into some cute lil thangs at Target, which I promptly added to my cart pile and then stored in G's closet. 

Here are a few of the ideas I've been drooling over and weighing on the "Time Spent on DIY Project vs. What G and/or family members will remember years from now" scale. 

Absolutely loving the lit up Circus sign. I'm not quite sure I would have anywhere to put it, but it definitely looks doable. I don't think I would attempt it for a one year old's birthday party, especially since he won't remember it. And I'm pretty sure he will grow out of the circus theme by the time he's 3. So, I'm just going to leave this project for all you over-achieving mamas out there. I also love those individual popcorn buckets and straws adorned by tiny mustaches. How sweet! 

I love the use of primary colors, and the simplicity of the decorations here. It doesn't really scream "antique", because the colors are so bright, but I can work with this! Just love those sassy little lollipops...but where do I get them? Are candy stores extinct??

These are darling, but I would probably have the main cake decorated this way. Can you imagine spending all that time for one cupcake?! And how do you undress it? And where do you put all the little bits and pieces? Too complicated for a cupcake! 

I like the idea of serving something as simple as hotdogs, but incorporating a vintage themed machine such as this hot dog roller. Or a popcorn maker. It has to be something we will use over and over, because I'm not about to dish out $50 (for nostalgia's sake) for one event. I would also love to figure out a way to incorporate this:

A smash cake made entirely of fruit! How exciting/healthy is that?! Although, I could wait to do this another year or two. Not sure if I want to miss watching our little man get covered in icing!

And don't even get me started on invitations. Please observe how my obsession began:

By TwoPoochPaperie on Etsy

ohsobeautifulpaper.com

Found at www.riflepaperco.com

So, those are a few of the ideas that I'm currently toying with. It is entirely possible that I will be enamored with a completely different theme in the next 5 months. I have found some rather cute nautical/dinosaur/super hero ideas...

Now, tell me what YOU did or want to do for an upcoming/past birthday party! Where did you get your ideas and your supplies? Mama, what is your advice for a first birthday party?

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama