Chronicle 63: Last Minute Gift Giving Guide

Now that the Halloween sugar high has crashed, and we've regained all our formerly lost baby weight during multiple Thanksgiving feasts, the gift giving season has officially commenced! 

Whether you're buckling down for birthdays, anniversaries, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Christmas... chances are you need something to give your loved ones. If you're anything like me, you want the gift to be thoughtful and unique, but you don't have the time or energy to go traipsing around a billion stores while shlepping two octopuses around. And by octopus I mean child. And by child I mean eight legged creature who grabs everything in sight.

I've gotten pretty damn good at online shopping. So leave it to me, ladies. I've done the research, logged the man hours, and waited like a teenage girl by the phone for the post man to drop off mountains of boxes. I'm pretty sure I impressed him with my ninja quickness at opening the door and snatching receiving the packages. 

Quick Shipping

If you're looking for a super quick ship, Amazon is always the way to go. I bit the bullet and signed up for Prime when I first started teaching, and I never looked back. Two day shipping, baby! And 99.9% of the time it has reached me within 1-2 days. There was one time it took a LOT longer (three days, GOD), but it was an issue with the mail carrier. 

This is literally a one stop shop. You got your toys, your books, your music, your cooking utensils, your sex toys, your rugs, your purses, and your personal nose hair groomer. I mean, everyone on the list is covered.

A very accurate depiction

What I love most about Amazon is that their prices are competitive, you don't have to fight other moms hopped up on caffeine in the toy aisle or stand in a ridiculously long checkout line, and they even offer toys without that crazy cardboard (paper cut-inducing) packaging.

Unique Gifts 

Another site I discovered this year was Uncommon Goods. They have something for pretty much every age and interest, and their shipping is FAST. I got my shipments within two days, and they were neatly packaged in a blue box with a cute little gift card tucked under the satin ribbon bow. I opted for gift wrapping, because, hello! Exhausted (which is a fancy word for lazy). 

What I really like about this site is the uniqueness of the gifts and the price ranges. You can get something for less than $25 or buy the BIG GIFT. You know, the one big gift that towers over all the other little ones? Yeah. They got it. Checked most of my extended family off the list with this site.

My favorites: a bubble wrap calendar, scotch infused toothpicks, and this cheese and crackers board which makes presentation neat and easy!

 

Gifts that Give Back

*BESTIE present alert!!* If you're looking for gifts that support others, check out The Shine Project. I stumbled across their profile on Instagram after falling in love with their jewelry. The story is even more amazing.

This incredible effort serves to empower women who want to better themselves through education, but may not currently have the financial means to do so. The founder, Ashley LeMieux, also works directly with their families to help better their living conditions. The Shine Project has teamed up with companies like LulaRoe to create beautiful jewelry and clothing that serves a desperate need.

There are so many other worthwhile sites that sell awesome gifts while supporting others. However, quick tip: Do some research before you commit. Some of the most recognizable or common charities actually cause more problems than good, or don't donate as much as you would think. This is the one place where spending time and energy is necessary!

OK, y'all. The holidays are a stressful time and if we can diminish that and enjoy ourselves even a little, then this post was well worth it. Kick back, grab a cocktail, and click away!

Joy, love, peace & alcohol, 

The Hot Mama

Chronicle 55: Number Two

Ahhh, number two. Could be that you planned it. Could be that the little devil snuck up on you until one day... PLOP! Just couldn't hold it in any more. Little, big... doesn't matter. This puppy will change your life forever.

Oh, shit! You thought I was talking about *whispers* number TWO? I meant the second CHILD! Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, people!

I never formally announced that we had another baby, but considering my readers are mostly friends and family, I thought, you know, that you already knew...

But for those people who just happened across my corner of cyber space (probably Googling baby fashion or sore nipples), I HAD A ANOTHER BABY!! YEAH! The snark is strong with me today, son.

How number two has thrown us for a poop. I mean, a loop.

1. Our oldest child has become a servant, parent in training, very special helper!  This is a conversation my, um, friend had with her son recently while she was trying to nurse a wiggling 10 month old with FANGS adorable brand new teeth (who had just decided to blow out of the ruffly $50 outfit from Grandma):

"Hey honey, can you run upstairs and get Mommy a diaper? Yeah, upstairs. IN THE DRAWER! IN THE BIG WHITE DRAWER! No, in your sister's room. YOUR SISTER'S!" When he brought down his favorite pair of underpants instead, I...um SHE just smiled while crying inside.

2. Where in the sweet potato is... ?!?!?! Everything is suddenly missing. Stuff that you wouldn't dream was possible to lose. The baby's entire collection of 20 bottles, your son's favorite toy screw driver, the fake spiral topiary that used to be on the mantle, step stools, potty chairs, and entire couch cushions. Where in the KALE CHIPS do these things GO!??!?!? Either that, or they turn up covered in sticky unremovable substances. Martha Stewart, are you for sale?

3. LAUNDRY. We are at the point where we all wear one outfit a day. SO WHY IS IT that we are doing two loads of laundry EVERY NIGHT? GRRRRFLALAKJDBkhgsvcjaghfd I can't even.

4. My ride. I drove a crossover with one child and now, due to a lack of room situation, we upgraded to a full on SUV. I love it, but the closer I get to owning a mini-van, the closer I feel to losing my sanity. This birth control better not fail, because I will not be purchasing a big ol' van any time soon EVER!!!

5. Sorry, not sorry, but I am never 100% squeaky clean. Because KIDS.
"Just took a shower, Ma? Here, let me barf on your leg."

"Oh, Dad, so glad to hear you got this shirt back from the dry cleaner's. Let me wipe a snail trail of snot on the shoulder."

"Just spent 45 minutes on your hair and makeup, Mommy? I've got some super sticky yogurt that will add a nice pop of color. Let me make sure it gets on every single layer so you have to wash it again."

I can't fail to mention all the dried cheerios, puffs, goldfish and other cracker type crap that manages to glue itself to my BUTT!

And  that, my friends, is just a sample of how number two has flushed my former life away. Yeah, yeah enough with the lame jokes. But seriously, I've gotta go.

xoxo,
Hot Mama

Chronicle 36: Snapshots

This weekend was JAM PACKED. We had something special going on every single second, and while I had an absolute blast... I could drop from exhaustion. 

My baby boy is on the same page. He was baptized yesterday, and was so super cranky that he cried throughout the entire ceremony. Which means we barely registered what was being said, and instead of crying tears of joy, they were more like tears of frustration. I'm sure we'll look back and laugh at the situation, but at this point? I would much rather nap!

Best friends celebrating a birthday

Godfather & Godson//with rootbeer

A lovely marbled cake

At a wedding with my love

How was your weekend, friends? What fun & exciting things did you do?

Xoxo, 

The Hot Mama

Sneak peek for this week on The Hot Mama: Mellow music for a Tuesday morning, Traveling with Baby for Say What?! Wednesday, beauty, fashion & more! 

Chronicle 18: Party Planning!

So, as you may know, my darling bubba-loo turned 6 months old at the beginning of March. You would never know it because the chunky monkey has graduated to the 9-12 month size in clothing, has been sitting on his own since 4 months, and, in the next few weeks, will have a grand total of 8 (COUNT UM, EIGHT) teeth! I have to brag a little, mamas. Because here's the thing... I am completely in love with my son. Which means I'm totally crazy over EVERY thing he does. It is so nutty and insane, but SO TRUE. That means I have to brag a little. But, I am finished. For now.

I was so tempted to throw all tackiness to the wind, and plan a small celebration for Baby G's half birthday. You see, Pinterest has the ability to make me believe I can and should do all sorts of things. It makes me believe I can turn a man's flannel shirt into a club dress, or make a whole new patio set out of old pallets, or even use a crockpot every single day of the year. It's an affirmation of what our parents have been telling us all these years, "You can do ANYTHING!" 

Parental encouragement aside, I forced myself to wait another six months and instead started gathering ideas for what will hopefully be a very well thought-out 1st birthday party. I thought about planning it the old fashioned way...Oh, you forget what that entails? It involves running around to several different stores in the hopes of finding something that would catch my eye or fit the theme I am desperately obsessed with (circus, or "vintage circus" if you wanna get fancy). I did, however, run into some cute lil thangs at Target, which I promptly added to my cart pile and then stored in G's closet. 

Here are a few of the ideas I've been drooling over and weighing on the "Time Spent on DIY Project vs. What G and/or family members will remember years from now" scale. 

Absolutely loving the lit up Circus sign. I'm not quite sure I would have anywhere to put it, but it definitely looks doable. I don't think I would attempt it for a one year old's birthday party, especially since he won't remember it. And I'm pretty sure he will grow out of the circus theme by the time he's 3. So, I'm just going to leave this project for all you over-achieving mamas out there. I also love those individual popcorn buckets and straws adorned by tiny mustaches. How sweet! 

I love the use of primary colors, and the simplicity of the decorations here. It doesn't really scream "antique", because the colors are so bright, but I can work with this! Just love those sassy little lollipops...but where do I get them? Are candy stores extinct??

These are darling, but I would probably have the main cake decorated this way. Can you imagine spending all that time for one cupcake?! And how do you undress it? And where do you put all the little bits and pieces? Too complicated for a cupcake! 

I like the idea of serving something as simple as hotdogs, but incorporating a vintage themed machine such as this hot dog roller. Or a popcorn maker. It has to be something we will use over and over, because I'm not about to dish out $50 (for nostalgia's sake) for one event. I would also love to figure out a way to incorporate this:

A smash cake made entirely of fruit! How exciting/healthy is that?! Although, I could wait to do this another year or two. Not sure if I want to miss watching our little man get covered in icing!

And don't even get me started on invitations. Please observe how my obsession began:

By TwoPoochPaperie on Etsy

ohsobeautifulpaper.com

Found at www.riflepaperco.com

So, those are a few of the ideas that I'm currently toying with. It is entirely possible that I will be enamored with a completely different theme in the next 5 months. I have found some rather cute nautical/dinosaur/super hero ideas...

Now, tell me what YOU did or want to do for an upcoming/past birthday party! Where did you get your ideas and your supplies? Mama, what is your advice for a first birthday party?

Xoxo,

The Hot Mama