Ahhh, number two. Could be that you planned it. Could be that the little devil snuck up on you until one day... PLOP! Just couldn't hold it in any more. Little, big... doesn't matter. This puppy will change your life forever.
Oh, shit! You thought I was talking about *whispers* number TWO? I meant the second CHILD! Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, people!
I never formally announced that we had another baby, but considering my readers are mostly friends and family, I thought, you know, that you already knew...
But for those people who just happened across my corner of cyber space (probably Googling baby fashion or sore nipples), I HAD A ANOTHER BABY!! YEAH! The snark is strong with me today, son.
How number two has thrown us for a poop. I mean, a loop.
1. Our oldest child has become a servant, parent in training, very special helper! This is a conversation my, um, friend had with her son recently while she was trying to nurse a wiggling 10 month old with FANGS adorable brand new teeth (who had just decided to blow out of the ruffly $50 outfit from Grandma):
"Hey honey, can you run upstairs and get Mommy a diaper? Yeah, upstairs. IN THE DRAWER! IN THE BIG WHITE DRAWER! No, in your sister's room. YOUR SISTER'S!" When he brought down his favorite pair of underpants instead, I...um SHE just smiled while crying inside.
2. Where in the sweet potato is... ?!?!?! Everything is suddenly missing. Stuff that you wouldn't dream was possible to lose. The baby's entire collection of 20 bottles, your son's favorite toy screw driver, the fake spiral topiary that used to be on the mantle, step stools, potty chairs, and entire couch cushions. Where in the KALE CHIPS do these things GO!??!?!? Either that, or they turn up covered in sticky unremovable substances. Martha Stewart, are you for sale?
3. LAUNDRY. We are at the point where we all wear one outfit a day. SO WHY IS IT that we are doing two loads of laundry EVERY NIGHT? GRRRRFLALAKJDBkhgsvcjaghfd I can't even.
4. My ride. I drove a crossover with one child and now, due to a lack of room situation, we upgraded to a full on SUV. I love it, but the closer I get to owning a mini-van, the closer I feel to losing my sanity. This birth control better not fail, because I will not be purchasing a big ol' van any time soon EVER!!!
5. Sorry, not sorry, but I am never 100% squeaky clean. Because KIDS.
"Just took a shower, Ma? Here, let me barf on your leg."
"Oh, Dad, so glad to hear you got this shirt back from the dry cleaner's. Let me wipe a snail trail of snot on the shoulder."
"Just spent 45 minutes on your hair and makeup, Mommy? I've got some super sticky yogurt that will add a nice pop of color. Let me make sure it gets on every single layer so you have to wash it again."
I can't fail to mention all the dried cheerios, puffs, goldfish and other cracker type crap that manages to glue itself to my BUTT!
And that, my friends, is just a sample of how number two has flushed my former life away. Yeah, yeah enough with the lame jokes. But seriously, I've gotta go.
I have a zit. It has taken up residence right between my eyes, popping up sometime between unpacking the 867th box of dishware and the intensive process known as shopping for living room furniture. Too busy to "woe is me", I handled it vigorously with my Clarisonic and a healthy swab of Witchhazel.
Witchhazel is an astringent that can be used as a spot treatment.
It can dry your skin out pretty quickly, so use sparingly.
Then I wake this morning to find that my zit invited an overnight friend, and this zit is not so...friendly. First of all, no introduction or warning was given. Second, it planted itself right on the tip of my nose. It's like a welcoming committee. Which, admittedly, fits in with my current life theme.
Welcome back, mamas & friends (and hopefully readers I don't know yet). Yes, I took a brief hiatus. Ok, make that a LONG hiatus. It was a year; a year full of highs and lows and new experiences. I met some incredible people, and lost one too. I finished my first year of teaching (I. AM. ALIIIVE!) after staying home with baby G.
The last 3 items in our old home, before we handed over the keys!
But, the biggest and most life changing thing JUST happened. Like a week ago happened. WE (packedupallofourbelongingsand) MOVED!! It was a life changing move. Like a leave a place you've lived for 28 years, family, friends, job, etc. move. It's turning out to be a brand new adventure, can't wait to explore and meet new people move.
It was quick, but certainly not painless. In fact, I'm sure that if we ever move again I will need a healthy dose of... several things. If you've ever moved, even to the house or apartment next door, you KNOW it's a pain. The logistics and labor alone cause stress: stress on family, friends, kiddos, and marriage. in effect, it's one of those tests that life throws your way to keep you in check. That's how I came to look at it: a way to test my strength.
The best part about a cross state move? It will continue to test me. Finding my way to the grocery store, meeting other young families, keeping up with a bigger home, interviewing for a job in the local district... the list goes on and on. And while I was faced with these tasks at my old home, I was comfortable. I knew my way around. I had my friends. Here? I have to get my Sacajawea on. Wait... am I leading two men? I guess I am! :)
Our kitchen was put together a day after we moved! I can't claim all the credit: my amazing
family friends showed up to help. Love them!
We have most everything unpacked. The next step is organizing EVERYTHING. Luckily we moved into a bigger home, so we didn't have to worry about making things fit. We just have to worry about making them pretty! (That's my newly adopted phrase for organizing. So much better, right?!)
This is the funny part: I've actually been researching! I've been reading articles, magazines, and books for ideas. It's your turn, mamas! How do you organize your toddler's room? Your pantry? Your playroom? I foresee several trips to the Container Store in my future!
Meanwhile, we're trying hard to stick to our routine and settle in to the new home. As you can see, Baby G is well on his way!
Well, here we are, more than halfway through the Say What?! Series and I am a little sad. Not like "Leave Britney ALONE!" sad... more along the lines of "There are two more Oreos left in the package and I'm about to finish them off" sad. Wistful-like. Because there is only one more post left in the series, I've been brainstorming and narrowing down topics. I want to hit the most important issues, what I think might be most helpful to YOU.
Something that comes up time and again in any relationship with a significant other is communication (mostly lack thereof, if we're honest with ourselves). Never is this skill more important than when you're trying to nurture a little ankle biter of your own.
Is is notoriously difficult for men and women to truly hear and understand what the other is saying. Women are talkers and sharers by nature and men are visual creatures who just want us to get to the point so they can offer a brilliant solution.
I can't even begin to count the number of times I sat down and talked to my husband about my horrible day and spilled my guts only to encounter a glazed look or the "I'm pretending not to read what's on my computer, but I'm really rocking the hell out of my peripherals" stare. One of those moments where I truly considered extreme couch bouncing a la Tom Cruise craziness...
There are books. And articles. And Doctors and therapists and couples counseling and churches, and and and. What it really comes down to is your willingness to LISTEN. By stepping back, turning off defensiveness and keeping an open ear. This is a constantly evolving skill... trust.
Here's what I know/try to keep in mind:
1. Talking scares a lot of men. They're afraid you want them to get emotional and share their feelings... and stuff. Plus, they are petrified you will yell or cry. This triggers a shut down in most men. (Trying desperately not to generalize, here!)
Instead: "Hey, hotness (bunny, lovebug, big strong man, etc.), I wanted to get your opinion on something. Can we set aside 10-15 minutes later? I'll bring the wine!
-A limited amount of time is concrete. It means that there is a way out. It means that you go into teamwork mode and find a solution without a prolonged, emotional conversation.
-Also, talking about ONE issue at a time may be frustrating, but it is a scientific fact that men cannot multitask. It's brain science.
-Don't cause confusion by bringing up five different things at once, as tempting as it may be. If it helps, write down everything beforehand, just to simply get it out so it doesn't make an appearance during your "non-chat."
-Don't get drunk, or even tipsy. The wine is to help you loosen up, not lash out!
2. Start SMALL.
Why?
-Don't try to tackle a heavy, complex issue on your first try. Gradually increase the time limit as you and your spouse become more comfortable discussing more emotional issues.
-Starter topics: Projects around the house, weekend plans, a trip, your next big purchase, planning a date.
-Eventually you will dive into the sensitive topics: money, sex, family, raising your children, your feelings about _____ event/situation, etc.
3. Be ready to swallow some pride. You may have an idea of how you want the conversation to go, but the goal is to really listen to your spouse. Remember that you cannot control their thoughts, words, or actions. Give them time to think and talk, without interruptions. Check out their body language.
-Interrupting or giving an emotional monologue says "I don't care what you think. What I have to say is much more important" (whether that is true or not). Your love should shine through, not your impatience.
-Support is key. Creating a safe environment will encourage your spouse to talk and share.
-You may hear something that you don't like or conflicts with your wants. Take a minute to mull it over before you respond. A lot of times our initial reactions may be overreactions, which hinder any progress you've made!
4. When all else fails, agree to disagree, and re-visit later.
Why?
-When either one, or both, of you gets too worked up, the conversation is over and stops being productive. Being upset does not lend to rational thinking.
-Take a day (or several) to cool down. Jot down thoughts as they come to you and bring them to your next conversation if it will help keep you focused.
-Do not say something you will later regret. This will make it really difficult to revisit the conversation with a wary spouse.
5. Last, but not least: Timing is everything.
Why?
-Read your partner's cues. Did they have a rough day at work, or at home with the kids? Not the best time to approach them with a sensitive issue. Glass of wine, maybe, but super chat? No.
-A person who is on-edge will not be prepared to listen objectively.
-Your convo should take place in a quiet, distraction free setting. Chaos begets chaos!
Here is what I know: Being a parent is like living on Mars. Minus all the heat and weird gases. Ok, plus the weird gases and minus the heat. It literally feels as if you're living on a different planet than everyone else. Well, other than people who are in your exact same position.
Here are some things I absolutely did not know about and have not heard anyone talk openly about (until I asked):
Nursing
It's so much more difficult than you imagine. I literally thought you were supposed to pop the baby on the boob and let him drink away. Not so. There are different types of holds and the baby has to latch on correctly and you have to come to a mutal agreement with your child about when and where to breastfeed. And they BARELY eat the first few days. Which is why they actually lose a bit of weight that first week, but trust me, it is fine. Scary, but fine.
Honestly, it hurts like hell. It's like purple nurples every time they eat for a few weeks. Then the nips toughen up and nursing becomes a habit (if you decide to pursue it). When your milk comes in, you may or not feel as if you magically received breast implants. I was so swollen, that I had to make a 10 o'clock run to Babies R Us to buy a pump, then proceeded to pump all the way home.
Also, your baby will scratch your chest up with their tiny little claws and you will look like your breasts got into a bar fight with a rosebush. I was too scared to cut G's nails forever, so I wore high necked tops for months. Now that he is teething, I have bite marks and bruises. Fun.
Friendships...
come and go, but never more so than during major life changes like getting married or having babies. There are people who just can't handle the fact that you aren't going out/drinking like you used to, or they're jealous of your happiness, or they are just plain in a different phase of their lives.
Your schedule changes dramatically for awhile, and kids can be so unpredictable that you need understanding family and friends if you have to cancel or rearrange plans. I'm lucky to have people like this in my life!
The good news is that, as a new parent, you can meet so many new friends that know exactly what you're going through. Great meeting places include: the park, the gym, the library (story hour!), the grocery, through friends and family, church, birthday parties, etc. The hardest part is getting up the courage to strike up a conversation and then follow through by making plans. It's a lot like dating: you really have to see if everyone is compatible! I am still in the "working up the courage" phase, but I'm lucky to have several mommy friends already.
SEX
Oh, yes I did. Surprisingly, you recover from (natural) delivery fairly quickly. That doesn't mean that you wanna jump right back in the sack as soon as you feel pain free. Because, yes, it hurts the first time you have sex. It reminds me of Jessica from HBO's True Blood who was turned into a vampire as a virgin. Which means that every time she gets down is literally like the first time. And it feels like that for awhile.
My advice? Lots of lube. And patience. And HUMOR. It goes a long way. Just remember there are a lot of other things you can do with your hubby, including non-sexual activities that are still intimate like showering together, massages, cuddling, breakfast in bed, etc. Like many other things after having a baby, this is temporary and while it may be more difficult to find time with your man, it can (and must!) be done. You just have to become a bit more creative!
Competition
I am not a competitive person by nature, but when I'm out and about I cannot help comparing myself to other parents and my little man to other babies. What is that baby doing that my son isn't? What do I do way better than that parent? I would never do that. My son will never act like that in public... It goes on and on. Why do we do this? Human nature, I suppose. But I really try to keep it to a minimum because every single child goes at their own pace. And nothing is wrong with that by any means. Who am I to judge and compare? My son and I are happy and healthy and that is all I can ask for. (It still creeps in sometimes. Hey, I can't help it!)
Your turn, mamas! What are some things that shocked you as a new mama? What would advice would you give to a new parent that you would have liked to receive?
So I took a brief hiatus: from blogging, from life, from everything, really. It's been one of those weeks. No, make that month. Or even year, if you'd like. I feel as if I'm living two very different lives at the moment, and the distance between the two is stark and startling, and frankly, I lack the energy to figure it out at the moment.
My life as a mother is just right. It's baby bear's porridge, with extra sugar and cream and a temperature that warms your tummy, but leaves your tastebuds intact. My life makes sense. I have a purpose. My lungs breathe for him. My heart swells and breaks and mends itself a thousand times a day. It is simultaneously the hardest and greatest thing I have ever done.
And, at this point, I am doing most of it single handedly.
I'm half of a whole, yes. But while my husband's away each week, I become the whole. I try too hard to be the mother and the father. I encourage independence, yet I cling to my son. I play rough and tumble, then lament over our bruised knees and carpet burns. I butt in on their sacred bath time, then read books about a mama's love in soft whispers. I weep at the drop of a hat, only to quickly dry my son's tears and catapult into distractions.
So you see? Jekyll and Hyde. One moment I'm filled with joy, and the next? Despair and, yes, loneliness. I miss my partner, my lover, my friend. Not only do I miss my husband, but I miss our family as a unit. Our mundane rhythm. The daily moments that seem so routine and boring, until they're disrupted. I mourn the fact that he has missed, and will miss, G's most transformative time.
I was completely overcome this weekend when my baby crawled for the veryfirsttime! I could see him gearing up for it all week. Tummy time transformed into popping up onto all fours and rocking and rolling towards an unknown destination. By midweek he had begun to look down and check out his knees while he lunged forward, desperately grasping for the glowing remote.
Saturday was THE day...tentative moments that resulted in alternating hands and knees. A brief movement that caused G great bewilderment when I burst into tears as my husband clapped his hands and lunged in for a hug.
For that one moment, I forgot everything and felt content. Felt whole.
After putting Peanut down for the night, I usually unwind with a book, or listen to some records while sipping a glass of wine, or peruse the "heavy" sections of the paper while my husband stares at me adoringly from across the living room...
PSYCHE! I WATCH TV. There, I said it. I unwind by watching a trainwreck of a reality show, or catching up on backlogged episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210 (that I DVR every day). So, a few nights ago, I was all caught up on my stories, and looking for something uplifting.
Enter E! and the True Hollywood Story of Giuliana Rancic. I've always thought Giuliana was adorable; she is super cheeky and chic...y. She makes crazy celebrity gossip seem like something important and exciting. And she is always honest and open about her personal life and struggles. I was so saddened when I heard about her being diagnosed with breast cancer. So saddened, in fact, that I started to cry.
Now, I don't know about all you mamas, or soon to be mamas, out there, but I cry ALOT now. Like every day. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than twice. So there I was, on the couch, remote in one hand, half-eaten Cadbury Creme Egg in the other, bawling my eyes out. But... quietly, so as not to wake the bebe.
Then, for no reason at all I got scared. Scared that baby G wasn't breathing (checked video monitor...he was fine). Scared that my husband's taxi got in an accident on the way back to his hotel (paranoid call...he was safe and sound, ordering chocolate cake from room service. Wait... I WANT chocolate cake!!) Scared that my eating habits will make me have a heart attack. Darn...no chocolate cake for me. But most of all, just plain scared that something would happen to any of my loved ones.
Right as I was about to start hyperventilating (silently of course), I heard Giuliana's husband say something profound. He was talking about Giuliana's attitude about breast cancer and he said that we have a choice. We can either live by fear or we can live by faith. HOLD. THE. PHONE. How many times have I heard something similar? "Worrying is like a rocker, you never get anywhere" or "Let go, and let God." But combined? And so simplified? And so REAL? Never.
I don't claim to be religious. I've struggled with organized religion and the messages they put out in the world. Do not misunderstand me; I am so grateful that we have the freedom and are able to find comfort and something to believe in. But I look at my son, and how my body put him together and I feel as if there has to be something out there, orchestrating and planning and watching us grow. My life has come to a point where I'm ready to accept that there's more to life than just me and what I want. It's 100% scary giving up that bit of control. But Bill Rancic was absolutely right...it IS fear vs. faith. It's a choice, one you have to make every day. Quite the commitment.
I feel a bit better when I realize that faith doesn't even have to pertain to religion. It just means I acknowledge that most things are out of my control, and I can either be a paranoid freak, or let go of the paralyzing fear. So I am. And I will. One day at a time.
Readers, what fears do you have? What have you let go of? How does Faith vs. Fear inspire YOU?
Growing up, I would wait anxiously for Friday nights, when new episodes of the sickeningly cheery sitcom Full House would finally air. The week in between each episode felt like absolute torture. And missing a show? Completely out of the question. I knew that I would have to return to school on Monday without the knowledge of what had transpired in the Tanner household. And then endure bouts of jealousy as my friends chatted away about the particularly funny things Michelle said or did. I felt as if I had been left out of something important.
That's what these types of shows do to us. They gloss over life's milestones, slap a band-aid over the boo-boos, and miraculously move on to bigger and better things. A 2 minute talk and voila, feelings are acknowledged and the issue is instantly resolved. Deep down we all know that is not how things work. However, we feel guilty that we can't make it work like they do. Why can't I forgive and forget as easily as the Tanners? Why can't I just confront the issue head on?
We felt as if their family was what the quintessential American family looked like, that their word was gospel, and every situation should turn out like theirs did each Friday night. I was completely reassured that I would grow up to raise a family that ate dinner together every night, and wholly supported every thing each member did, unselfishly. Ice cream sundaes after every home cooked meal. A father that could work at home instead of trekking into the office. An easy pregnancy and labor, with a few quirky mood swings that were laughed off and tolerated as a joke.
I had to laugh as I recently re-watched an episode of Full House. Becky, with a tiny body and basketball belly, cutely waddles out to Jesse, smiling. "Honey...it's time!" Jesse immediately does the rushing around gathering suitcases act, while Becky looks on smiling. No evidence of contractions or pain. She says that the "indigestion" she's been feeling is now 7 minutes apart.
REALLY? Did ya not attend a Lamaze class or parent preparation course, BECKS? Confession time: it is not like TV or the movies in any way, shape, or form. If you're a normal human being, you don't walk around smiling when you start to feel contractions. Not for long at least. Also, surprisingly, most women's water doesn't break at home, or even at all (on its own). Another thing, Full House, they will send you right back HOME if your contractions aren't at least 3-5 minutes apart. That's right! They'll send your pregnant ass right back home. Sad. By the time you are ready to have your baby, your husband will be just as prepared as you. So don't worry, ladies, he won't drive off without you!
Why? Why on EARTH doesn't anyone sit us down and tell us the truth? I would rather be prepared for what I'm going to have to do, than be living in ignorant bliss and then shocked the hell out of when I'm finally hit with reality. So, I have compiled a list. Don't be scared, mamas! Reality is not always harsh. Sometimes it can be heartbreakingly beautiful and amazing. Feel free to add your own in the comments!
You will just "know" when it's time to go to the hospital.
Realistic:
You will spend much of your labor at home, timing contractions and moving around to help move things along. You will have time to inform family, load the car, have something light to eat, and drive to the hospital safely (and within the speed limit).
Idealistic:
You will bond with your baby as soon as he/she is born.
Realistic:
You're so mentally and physically exhausted after birth that you may not feel that connection right away. That is perfectly NORMAL and OK. You do not know anything about this new little life, except that you love them. It could take days or weeks to really understand how you feel. If it takes more than a month or so, please talk to your partner or your doctor. You may be dealing with post-partum depression.
Idealistic:
Your relationship with your partner will/will not change.
Realistic:
Your relationship with everyone will change, one way or another. You may get closer to certain people, and you will certainly drift away from some who are not in the same stage of life. This is also normal, and can be painful. Just know that you are going through a HUGE life change, and the people that want to stick around and support you are the most important people in your life. You WILL find alone time with your partner again, and you will resume a normal life eventually. TRUST me!
Idealistic:
Some moms have it all together.
Realistic:
There is not one single mom out there that has it all together or completely under control 100% of the time. Those that say they do are lying or delusional. Children affect your life in so many wonderful and unforeseeable ways. You're going to make mistakes because you're on a steep learning curve. It lessens with every child, but it is still there. You're going to be late. And, you're going to leave the house at least once with spit up or poop on your person. Just sayin'... be prepared. You know what helps? Laughing those moments off. Before you know it, your baby will grow up, and those moments will be gone.
Love you, ladies! What were some of your idealistic expectations that were completely different in reality? Please share, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Happy Monday, mamas! I hope you had an absolutely fabulous weekend. We sure did at the Hot Mama household. The best part of my hubby being gone all week is that we are super excited to see each other by the end of it all. It may not be the "can't get enough of each other, must suck face all the time" phase that we had at the beginning of our relationship, but for a four year + kid relationship, I don't hate it!
We are much more considerate of each other, which includes tolerating those deeply ingrained and annoying habits that drives the other spouse up the wall. Including, but not limited to: Nail biting, leaving used tissues around the house, leaving a peanut buttered knife in the sink without rinsing it off, "forgetting" to refill the Brita when it's empty, hogging the iPad, etc., etc. When you get comfortable, you get a bit selfish.
What my whole diatribe is leading up to is the fact that this time of year, if the TV is on, so is a basketball game. I grew up watching sports, and I may have even tried every single sport out there (before I finally realized I am the least athletic person on the planet). But months and months of one sport seems like overkill, right? WRONG...according to the entire male population, and some very good lady friends of mine. But I ask you this: would our loving companions be willing to sit through hours and months of watching ballet? Men and women leaping and prancing around to classical music?! I THINK NOT! Soooo one sided, fellas.
Pretending to be bored with sports is usually my bargaining tool when Maid in Manhattan is on TBS for the 50th time, or I need a Miss Congeniality fix. However, since we never see each other anymore, the bargaining has given way to, "Oh, look, hun! Five hours of Oscar coverage!" Score, a direct hit! I suppose it's the same wiring in the brain that enables me to watch hours and hours of red carpet, while hubby can watch hours and hours of basketball. And now, for your entertainment, the reason why I can watch Miss Congeniality so many times:
I. cannot. stop. laughing.
Moving on.
Doesn't it feel as if we JUST saw the 2011 Grammys and the Oscars? Maybe it is because I have been watching too many Rachel Zoe reruns, but it literally feels as if we are watching these award shows all year long. No complaints here... it just BAFFLES me. Now, if you weren't aware, celebrities see the Grammys as a chance to fly their fashion freak flag. It is a much more casual event than the Oscars, and you see all sorts of, shall we say, interesting choices.
Nikki Minaj must have been creeping behind the scenes of Twilight's New Moon, because she looks like she could blend in perfectly with the Roman festival shown at the end of the movie. She is a beautiful woman, trying way too hard to top Lady Gaga. Enough, Minaj! We get it... you're different.
Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas went for a slightly less political outfit, and instead opted for...well, less of an outfit, period. We got a look at her raven granny panties peeking through a tight fitting doily, which seemed to be RIT-dyed a fancy flourescent orange. Which complemented her umm, "tan" glow quite nicely, might I add. Mamas, I would MUCH rather see a fake tan over a real tan any day, but with all that money and all those stylists, how does she still manage to cast such a tangerine hue?
Lady Gaga made a very understated appearance on the carpet this year, in contrast to last year when she curled into a large egg and was hoisted by Caesar's Palace inspired Grecians into the venue. In fact, I don't remember seeing her on the carpet at all. She kept it simple with a scepter and an all black ensemble, but the crazy eyes were running wild all night. We love you Gaags! I feel like she must be hoarding all her creative energy for another amazing album.
There actually were some beautiful dresses at the Grammys, but they were nothing compared with some of the dresses I drooled over at the Oscars last night. The Oscars always make me so nostalgic, with the old Hollywood glamour and the inevitable homage to film's evolution through the years. Women sparkle and dazzle, dressed by some of my favorite designers in very classic silhouettes.
These pictures do not do Jennifer Lopez's custom Zuhair Murad dress any justice whatsoever. She simply sparkled and shimmered in this silvery pleated dress. Words don't even do it justice! Her dress moved in a subtle and slinky way, and accentuated her curves ("ASSets" would have been the better, yet more obvious wording here). The deep v-neck was super sexy, but not over the top or slutty. And the cutout sleeves provided even more visual interest, but not in an overbearing way. It was like butta!
Penelope Cruz wore this gorgeous baby blue dress by Armani Prive, which totally reminds me of the dress Sleeping Beauty wears at the end of the movie. You know... the one that kept changing from pink to blue? This gauzy off the shoulder look could have hinted toward the 80s in any other color, but it only highlighted Penelope's beautiful skin tone and decollete, and allowed for a simple diamond necklace, earrings, and bracelet. I had visions of myself riding away on a horse wearing this dress, Runaway Bride style. Love!
Everyone is talking about Angelina, and her gaunt cheeks and toothpick wings. What is with the "I wont eats cheezburger" look? I know she is running around after 115 kids these days, but really? This Atelier Versace practically swallowed her whole, leaving us a glimpse of an escaped limb that resembled a malnourished Barbie leg. Honey, get some help. If you need some extra weight, chop off your man's mane and attach it to yourself!!
There were so many more that I simply adored, but this post is getting rather long, mamas. Were you able to watch the Oscars or the Grammys? What looks did you lust over and which sent you hitting the ground laughing? Would you be interested in a Part 2?
